Celebrate Life

I have decided to celebrate my daughter this month. 9 years ago this month I was given the news that I could proceed with adoption. I was elated. I remember the giddy excitement over the fact that I was not going to have to give this precious little baby to someone else. She would be mine. Forever!!

It hasn't been an easy 9 years. I had no clue what I was getting into. When she was tiny, she would wake up every two hours to eat. She started daycare when she was six days old cause I didn't really expect to keep her. I was so tired for those first 3 months, that I would come home to nap before I picked her up. Thank God for my wonderful day care provider. I didn't know that she would outgrow that cute little babiness and immediately turn into a diva with an attitude! I had no idea how incredibly hard it would be when she started school and began to have relationships with other children and adults. Now she is learning diversity. She is trying out new ideas and testing new ways of living. Her strong will is driving her down a rocky road with little room to turn around.

With all that said, I can't believe how much I love her. How is it that I can be so angry at her one moment and then totally forgive her the next?? I would never forgive someone else, but somehow when it is your child, it is different. I cherish our times together and can't stand to be away from her. I love watching her learn new things. I love that she still loves her mom and likes to go eat lunch with me.

She has dashed all my preconceived notions about what I thought it would be like to be a mom and taught me that there is no way to prepare for life with a daughter. Just when you think you have it figured out, here comes another challenge.

But I will celebrate her today. I will wonder at the funny things she says. I will marvel at her obsession with weather, telephones, and pregnant women. I will support her dreams. I will challenge her attitude and raise my expectations. I will reward her for her hard work and perseverance. I will thank God every time I think of the day nine years ago when I was given the go ahead to prepare for adoption. She is my dream come true.