Dr. Pepper

Dr. Pepper how I miss you!!  You made me feel so good.  When you touched my lips, it was soooo pleasurable.  You would make me so alert.  I love to drink you after a long night's sleep or during a meal. I love to sip you anytime.  I love you hot and I really love you cold.  I remember how you would gently rub my belly til I burped and everything was so much better.  I do not believe these people that say you attack my liver and want to kill me.  I believe you are my friend....Oh, Dr. Pepper how can you be so cruel?????

He Didn't Know My Name

He didn't have a clue who I was.  Why should he really?  In a congregation of hundreds, why would I stand out.  The man has undoubtedly met millions of people and ministered to thousands in his lifetime.  Why would he remember me?  Even though I had looked forward to seeing the man who was instrumental in my christian growth....  Even though I knew who he was.....  An awkward silence passed as I realized he wouldn't recall and I mumbled something about finding my daughter and left.

Put it in perspective, Steph.  Just because you spent hours in the pew listening to his preaching doesn't mean he knew you.  A man is just a man: a servant is just a servant.  Church isn't about the mortal man.  Throughout all this past month and all the things God has revealed to me and taught me and orchestrated in my life.....this was another lesson.  Don't follow a man.  Don't get hung up on the man in front.  They are, after all, just a servant of the King. 

There is Someone who knows my name.  He knows the hairs on my head.  He knows my feelings, my heart, my dreams, my ugliness, my struggles, my wants and my needs.  He loves me.  He has written my name in His book.  He has me in the palm of His hand and no one can snatch me out.  He formed me and has plans for my future.  He gives me hope and strength and a peace that surpasses understanding.  He gives me everlasting life with Him.

My blogger friends there is Someone who knows your name.  He knows the hairs on your head.  He knows your feelings, your heart, your dreams, your ugliness, your struggles, your wants and your needs.  He loves you.  Has He written your name in His book?  Does he have you in the palm of his hand and no one can snatch you out?  He formed you and has plans for your future.  He can give you hope and strength and a peace that surpasses understanding.  He can give you everlasting life with Him.

Tune My Heart to Sing Thy Grace

God is blessing me so much and I am going to sing again.  Ciara's exact words when she saw the music list were, "Mommy, you made the team.  I am so happy for you!"  I don't know if I have "made the team", but I will be singing with some awesome people Sunday.  We will see what God has next.

This will give you an idea of what I will be up to on Sunday.

Blessed Assurance Jesus is Mine

Oh what a foretaste of glory divine

I have sang those words thousands of times, yet never really thought about them.  Just having Jesus in our hearts is a foretaste of the glory that awaits us.  AMAZING!!!

I’d rather have Jesus than silver or gold;

I’d rather be His than have riches untold;

I’d rather have Jesus than houses or lands;

I’d rather be led by His nail-pierced hand 

Than to be the king of a vast domain,

Or be held in sin’s dread sway;

I’d rather have Jesus than anything

This world affords today.

Do I really want Jesus more than moolah!!  I tend to want a lot of moolah and spend a lot of time obsessing/stressing about moolah!! Well, consider the options...hmmm, yes, I'd rather have Jesus.  'Cause.... Without Him I could do nothing, Without Him I'd surely fail, Without Him I would be drifting, Like a ship without a sail....well, you know!! Because Lord You are more precious than silver, Lord You are more costly than gold.  Lord You are more beautiful than diamonds.  And nothing I desire compares with You..

And what about the Victory in Jesus my savior forever, he sought me and bought me with his redeeming blood, he loved me.....and What can wash away my sin?  Nothing but the blood of Jesus;  What can make me whole again?  Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Hymns haven't always been my favorite songs.  They tend to run high and my voice doesn't go so high.  Sometimes the words are unfamiliar to our speech today.  And then there is just that, been there done that factor that we want to learn new songs.  But when I look back on my life I know that I have learned many precious songs that have stayed in my heart and given me hope of a resurrection and future with Christ, you know, that little glory divine I first mentioned...  I am so glad that I know these songs.  I love several, but my favorite is probably this one.  I didn't know it until a couple of years ago.  Talk about some strange language... this song is full of unfamiliar words.  I learned it while singing on a music team.  I loved singing it!

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
(OK, so I just googled that song and found a little more about it.  It was written in the 18th century by a minister and a hymnist.  Amazing that it has stood the test of time and is still around today.  Although most of these hymns are also that old.  Anyway, Clark Davis sang it in the Love Comes Softly movie!!  Maybe that is why I love it.. Wish he was a real man....I digress...)

What is your favorite?  (HYMN, NOT MAN!)

Did you know that.....Jesus is tenderly calling you home

Calling today, calling today,

Why from the sunshine of love will you roam,

Farther and farther away?

Jesus is pleading, O list to His voice,

Hear Him today, hear Him today,

They who believe on His Name shall rejoice;

Quickly arise and away.

Living Life

Sunday we were challenged to live life!  Now you may think I am crazy, but the bible says in John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.  Some versions say live life abundantly.  I got to thinking about my life.  To be honest, I have written three posts that were so boring, I couldn't even bring myself to push the publish button...yawn.  Does that mean my life is boring?????  My life is no better or worse than others.  I think things are horrible, but then I see situations or hear about my friends problems and mine don't look so bad at all.  Yeah, things could be a lot better.  I spend most of my day trying to get resistant people to do what I want.  Then I come home and it is the same.  I guess that makes it pretty depressing.  But Jesus says it doesn't have to be that way.  He can give me a full life.   What does that mean?

Most of us think that a full life is having enough money to do what we want.  We can eat well, play well, thus living well.  Not so.  Admittedly having more money would ease most people's worries and wouldn't we all like to have more toys or visit more places.  But Jesus didn't say he would give us more stuff.  He said he came that we might have a full life.  When do we reach the point where we see past our daily routines and worries to live that full life?  I think that is the key question.  Right now I am dealing with paying off bills and still trying to survive.  We are doing without any extras.  We fight and argue about everything.  I push her to succeed in school and pick up after herself.  She just wants to go live the full life!!  She wants to be at the skating rink or in the backyard with her friends.  No worries... just fun.  I seem to think that if I punish myself enough by denying myself anything fun, it will make up for the mistakes I made.  It won't.  Jesus didn't sacrifice himself on the cross so that I could punish myself.  He knew I was gonna mess up  a lot.  He knew when he was on the cross.  He knew it when he came down to earth.  Yet he came anyway.  Knowing full well what a screw up I would be and knowing full well the agony of the cross, He came.  He wants me to have a full life.   He gives me the choice. 

Well, life, it is time for you to stop beating me down.  I may have worries and stress, but I will have a full life.  I will rejoice.  I will have peace that passeth understanding.  I will lay my worries at the foot of the cross.  Help me friends to keep this up.  When you see me down on life, remind me that we are here to have a full life. Remind me that it is my choice to make. 

What to say, what to say?????  I have had a busy week, and so much to be thankful for.  Payday finally came around.  I swear, that day comes less and less often, I think.  Too bad I get paid on Friday and it is all gone by Monday.  Ciara got to go to a bday party and was gone for a whole night.  It was so nice to have time to myself, but I missed her.  I have decided that we are way to codependent on each other.  I watched a few episodes of Ugly Betty while she was gone.  I love that show!!  I slept a lot this weekend.  I guess I needed the rest. There are so many "bugs" going around that I guess I need to not let myself get run down.  So many people are sick.  Ciara has been coughing for a couple of weeks, but she is still going full speed.  Church was awesome Sunday.  I love, love, love my Sunday School class.  Those ladies are so kind and loving.  Really, I have never, ever been in a group of women who are so sweet.  Church was AWESOME.  Amy talked to us about our obedience to God and where it stems from.  I talked to Ciara after church about how she should mind me more because of the fact that I am her mom and she wants to make me happy than the fact of I am gonna spank her or take away her priviledges.  Her response: what will I get???  ARGH!!!  She is of the age where she has decided that she is gonna "do it anyway".  Like last night when I told her to go to bed and she wanted to play barbies.  I told her she would not be blessed if she didn't mind me.  She didn't care.  So today, I am taking up the barbies and putting them in time out for a week or so.  We are also having a friend over and she won't get to play with that friend.  She will probably go to bed tonight.  I tell you these things cause there are those who have a strange need to know how I discipline my child.  I am going to work on disciplining her so that she will mind so she won't be breaking my heart.

Anyway, no new projects to show.  I will have to get busy this week cause I offered to make some cards for my sunday school class to send out.  Gotta get on the ball!!  I did bring out my sewing machine and applique something on a shirt for Ciara to give the little girl.  I forgot to take a picture of it.  I hope she liked it!

I have decided to write down everything I eat.  After figuring up my points yesterday I will no longer ever be able to eat at my fav. Sunday restaurant.  Bummer, but I just can't do it!!

Last night I helped lead singing at the nursing home.  It was a mess. People kept coming out even after the service was over!!  I hope they liked it a little.  I was so shocked to see some people in there.  I am getting old and so are the people I know.  Who knows, you may be next!!!  Well, if you are, I promise I will come sing to you!

Operation Card

I made this card for my sweet friend who had hip replacement surgery last month.  She got a laugh out of the card as well as the others who helped deliver food that night.  I had fun making it.  It is copied totally from this website, except I forgot to add the Adam's apple.  The blogger on that website does amazing things with punches.  I love CASEing (copy and sharing everything) her work and I love working with punches. 

Scary Things!

I have been creating some cute things lately for some workshops.  I made this cute scarecrow card that I copied from a very talented lady whose blog I follow.  I also copied her idea for the pumpkins.  I got very high tech for my workshops and created a technique sheet for each.  If you want this, email me and I can send you a copy.

I have two friends having birthdays this month and wanted to use the scarecrow card, so I wrote on the inside, I'm scared I missed your birthday.  It worked out perfectly as one friend is a coworker and her birthday was on Sunday but I wouldn't see her til Monday.  Hope you enjoy looking at these projects.

I have always loved music.  Songs have always effected me deeply.  It has always been a passion.  My greatest desire ever was to sing.  Unfortunately, I am not that good!  Not to sing by myself.  In high school, I loved singing in groups, but when I had to sing by myself, I couldn't carry a tune.  I always wanted to learn to play the piano and maybe I will someday.  My next door neighbors put the names of the keys on masking tape and taped it to the piano keys.  Boy, did they get in trouble.

My first experience serving on a worship team was pretty much a disaster.  I had a lot to learn.  We didn't have live music and sang to cd's.  It was the best we could do at the time.  We used an overhead with transparencies for the words.  (That might give you a clue how long ago it was!!)  I moved to another church and vowed never, ever, never, ever to get involved in anything again.  I was going to be a pew warmer and that was that.  They allowed me to be warm their pew for a little while, and then they moved me on to doing other things.  I learned so much at this church.  My faith was tested and tried.  I learned how to play a little piano, a drum machine, and work the power point for the words and a little bit of sound equipment.  I spent a couple of years with this worship team.  I can't tell you what an amazing time in my life this was.  They felt like family.  I never thought it would come to an end, but it did.  I never thought I would sing again either.  I didn't sing for a long time.  My step-mother would chide me saying, "You let Satan steal your music again.  Don't you let him do that."  She knows how important music is to me.  Then it came bubbling up in me again.  The desire to sing.  Before doors were even opened up, I began to feel the desire to sing.  I missed singing.  Now, doors are opening up and I may actually get to be on a worship team again.  Am I ready for that?  Absolutely.  That God loves me enough to use me in this way, is so amazing!

This is one of my favorite songs and it kind of describes how I feel.
Take me in to the holy of holies
Take me in by the blood of the lamb
Take me in to the holy of holies
Take the coal, cleanse my lips, here I am

Church Dilemna

My soul is at war....at least it feels that way.  Do you ever have a decision to make and it seems like you are fighting against yourself?  I feel that way now.  Two weeks ago I went to church with my friend.  I told you that I wasn't looking for a new church home and I really wasn't.  I love the people at my church, yet I don't want to go there for other reasons.  So I haven't.  I haven't gone there in a very long time.  I have drifted away from church and God.  I have been going down a self destructive path.  I have been a bad mother and influence on my child.  I don't like being that way.  When I went to the new church a few weeks ago, my soul war started.

I went again last week.  I don't know why.  I just woke up and went.  The preacher preached on Bride and Groom!!  Ha ha for me.  Since we got there late, it just wouldn't do to leave as soon as we got there.  I learned so much as the preacher had congregation members reenact the process of that day of bargaining for the bride and getting ready for the groom to come.  It was an awesome message.  I envisioned in my mind all the preparation going on in heaven for the Groom to come get His Bride (us).  I pictured in my mind God looking around to see if all was ready and looking toward Jesus to tell him, "Go get your bride."  Things we won't even be able to fathom await us there!!

I made sure to tell my friend this week that we would be returning to our own church.  There is a strong Sunday school class for Ciara there.  I have a good Sunday school class.  I am historian of the WMU and involved in the Heart to Heart program.  I have dear friends there. Ciara is involved in AWANA there.  Why, then, do I not want to go there?  Well, there is this one issue that outweighs all that. 

I told Ciara, we are going back to our own church this week.  My friend is out of town anyway, so she won't be at the new church.  Why did it take me an hour to fall asleep last night thinking about going to church?  My soul is warring with itself over where to go.  The new church is losing it's youth director and worship leader.  Why would I want to be involved in all that? Music is very important to me.  Satan knows that is where he can get me, so he is already trying at a church I haven't even said I would go to!!  Isn't he on the ball???  Dirty old thief!!!   Why am I awake already thinking about where I will go to church?  Why do I fight this?  I mean, the new church is great and I am happy there and there isn't the issue that is keeping me from going like at the old church.  I never got into this to join a new church, yet I feel so drawn to the new one. 

The new Christians in the bible days didn't have to worry about this decision.  There was one church.  Can you imagine if there were one church in Childress?  In some ways, it would be nice to see the people I love from other churches, but can you imagine how much we would fight?  There is only one heaven.  I wonder if God cares which church we go to as long as we go?  I like to think he does.  I like to think he puts Bodies of Christ together and gives you an important part to play in a church.  I wonder if his plan is for me to go to this new church.  I have already decided that I am going to go back there today.  I don't know why, I just did.  I swear, though, if his sermon is anything on marriage, I may never go again!!! lol

A Beautiful Day

Today was such a beautiful day.  I have been under a huge amount of stress lately as I try to be the provider for this household and make all the decisions.  It has consumed me and threatened my health.  Friday I made a decision that will ease the stress I would continue to feel for the rest of the year.  Things will be much better from now on.  We had a girls night out Friday night and went to the Wellington Ritz to see a movie.  This was the first time we had ever gone there.  It was very nice.  We sat in the balcony.  Ciara didn't even know what a balcony was til we got there and I drug her up there. 



But yesterday, ah, that was a perfect day.  I got up early and got ready for my crop.  Two friends came over and we scrapbooked all day.  The weather was so nice that we left the door open for a little while until the mosquitos and bees found us.  I went to visit one of my foster kids who has a job at DQ and we got ice cream.  The kids played outside all day.  I babysat for a friend for a little while and had a long telephone conversation with another friend.  I wish more days could be like that.