BIRTHDAY BLAHS/WORTH THE WAIT

Monday was my baby girl's tenth birthday!!!  I can't believe 10 years have passed since I went to the hospital and picked her up.  I have been working on writing her story to publish, but haven't gotten very far.  I will tell those of you who weren't my friend at that time that I was in a very depressing place.  I had a little boy for 2 1/2 years as a foster child and he was moving at the end of the month to live with his aunt.  I was so heartbroken.  I thought I would be alone forever.  I was going to tell CPS ...well, I was going to tell them I was quitting.  I was ready to give up.  My foster home developer called me at 5:30pm on a Friday night to ask if I would pick up this baby girl at the hospital.  It was my dream come true.  I had always, always, always wanted a baby girl and I dreamed of getting a newborn, picking her up at the hospital and beginning our journey together.   I had been dreaming (waiting) for a very long time.  I was, after all, 36 years old.  Way past the age of having babies!!  Well, especially if all you ever wanted to do in life was be a mommy!!  It was a really long wait.  But it was worth it.  Well worth it.  I went to the hospital the next day with a package of gowns, a couple of blankets, and a car seat.  She was so tiny.  She was a little premature and only weighed 5 lbs. 15 oz.  She had lots of (straight) black hair, long fingers, and the biggest big baby toe I had ever seen.  At this point I didn't know if I would have her a day, a week, a year... I didn't know the circumstances at all.  I never ever for one second dreamed that ten years later I would be telling about her birthday!

Back to the present.  I woke up Monday morning and went to the bathroom where I stepped in a puddle of vomit!!  GROSS!!!  Ciara first told me Xena, our dog, had done it.  I knew the dog wasn't even in the house.  She finally admitted she had done it cause she couldn't make it to the toilet.  She was sick...on her birthday.  I arranged things at school and came home to be with her.  She mostly slept all day.  She got up and threw up on the floor in the afternoon.  Then she went back to sleep.  (Thanks a lot C)  I finally told her to carry a trash can with her.  She is never sick, so she doesn't know how to be a neat sick person!  Then she started wheezing so bad.  I hate when she does that.  Her whole body moves when she breathes and I know it is exhausting for her.  Poor baby.  Fortunately, the school called to tell me a package had been delivered.  It was a christmas present, but since I didn't have her a birthday present.  I asked someone to bring it to the house.  She woke up later and opened it and loved it.  It was a whole house of barbie furniture...ooops I am not supposed to say she still plays with barbies.....

She is all better now and back at school.  She didn't even want to sit out PE for wheezing.  She is such a tough girl.  I asked her if I was worth the wait.  She asked me what I was talking about.  I told her that she was born on Wednesday, December 6, 2000.  She was born in the evening and she had to wait until Saturday, December 9, 200 for me to pick her up.  She was in the hospital for 3 whole days alone with only the nurses to take care of her.  I asked her, "Did you know then that you were waiting for me to come and pick you up and make you my family?"  She laughed and said, "How could I have known that?"  I said, well, was it worth the wait?  She said, "Yes, Mom, you were worth the wait."  

That may be the nicest thing she will say to me for the next ten years, but I will take it.  She was absolutely, without a doubt, worth the wait.  She is my dream come true, my ten year old, but always, my baby girl!!

I love you Angel Baby.  Happy tenth!