Silly Girl!

So today I am trying to find a website I went to the day before and I find this in my history http://www.jobs for nine yaer olders.com.   LOL!!  I laughed so hard.  I knew the other day she said that she couldn't find a job.  I thought she was just repeating me since I am looking for a part time job and have been talking about it.  I guess she is trying to help fund her skating rink weekends!!  So if anyone out there wants to hire a 9 year old, she is available and looking for work!

Are You There?

Hello, is anyone out there?  Something went wrong with my friend visitor gadget and now I don't think anyone is visiting me.  I can't blame you, cause I went forever without blogging anything.  Most of what I do blog is BOOOOORING, anyway.  I miss you, my commenter friends.  Please come back to me.  If you visit me you can feed the cute little fish I added.  They are so silly!!!  For some reason, I love them.  I might even name them.   I need to know that you visit me in virtual land!!  Please leave me comments, but only nice ones of course!!

He is With You....

Well, since I mentioned the whole internet meeting someone scene, I have gotten lots of comments.  I am still praying about it, but as I was listening to a song last night (cause the internet went out for a little while and I couldn't play my game!!)  I noticed these words.  (Mandisa - Freedom)

He is with you when you've given up on ever finding your true love, someone who feels like home, He is with you...

This is a wonderful song.  I get something new out of it every time I listen to it.  There are so many words in it that can relate to all the hardships that we go through in life, but we have to remember that He is with us always.

Last night was the second episode of the new show Mike and Molly.  This is one of the cutest sitcoms I have seen.  You may have to be a fat girl to love it, though.  Molly is an overweight teacher who lives with a drug addict ding dong sister and her alcoholic skinny mother who totally don't understand what it is like to be overweight.  Mike is a Chicago policeman who is overweight and works with a funny partner.  They meet at Overeaters Anonymous.   Last night was their first date.  Mike's partner takes him to his cousin's store and gets him some new clothes.  He ends up with a green sweater that looks like Christmas.  Molly was sick and took some cough medicine with codeine.  Then she passed out, so her sister put a diet pill in her mouth.  By the time Mike pics her up, she is higher than a kite.  Their date is hilarious.  As miserable as the date is, Mike tells his partner the next day that he is going to marry her.  It is just the sweetest show!!  I am Molly - where is my Mike???? 

Two posts mentioning my single state is enough, so I will get off that topic and try to think of something more exciting for my next post.  Maybe something I have been crafting!!

Sunday, Sunday

I went to church with a friend this week.  Now, just because I went to another church, don't jump to any conclusions.  I am not really looking for another church to join.  I just promised her that I would go.  She has recently joined this church and is all excited about her new church family and wanted to share.  That's all.  I will admit that I felt very comfortable and many people told me how glad they were to see me there.  I very much enjoyed the worship and the Sunday School lesson.

When I walked in they gave me a bulletin and I noticed that the sermon was going to be over Ephesians 5:22 - 33.  If you don't know what those verses are, you better check them out, but they are the "rules" for wives and husbands!  I was really thinking, how can I leave here before church, cause I just don't want to hear this.  I had just made the decision the night before to quit internet "dating" as such and be happy without a husband.  It is just too crazy!!  I look at some marriages and they are wonderful and I think I want that.  Then I look at others and feel so sorry for them and think, I just don't want to live that way.  I know what it is like to be in a bad relationship and I know what it is like to not be in a relationship.  I don't know what it is like to be in a good relationship.  I figured two out of three ain't bad (like the song) and I would just stop there. 

So.... I get to church with my friend....   I decided to have an open mind ( which was really hard since I had such a headache).  The pastor did a fantastic job of relating those verses to husbands and wives and individuals and the church.  He gave a very graphic description of the "wedding" and exactly what I must look like as the "bride of Christ".  His words were exactly what God wanted me to hear.  I definitely need to submit to Christ and become the bride he gave his life for.

At some point in the sermon I came to another realization.  I don't know if it was something the preacher said, or just me thinking about things.  All my life I felt that I needed to change certain bad behaviors I have.  You know those things that you hate about yourself.  I just can't seem to change them.  I want to be sweet and nice all the time, but then this ugly monster (sometimes called psycho mom)  comes out.  I felt like something was wrong because I couldn't change this behavior.  Well, I finally realized that I, yes I, don't change the behavior.  God does.  He changes me.  I need to just get close to Him and let him mold me into what He wants me to be, not the way I want it.  Wow, what a relief!  I don't have to do a thing.  I don't have to read a billion self help books.  I don't have to do internet searches for niceness.  I don't have to fake it and I don't have to go to counseling and give the thing a label!  I just have to submit to Christ and let Him....let Him....let Him....

Then I began to think that idea might carry over into other areas of my life besides just my personality. Hmmmm... could I let Him take over my finances and supply my needs and bless me with my wants....could I let Him discipline my child and work in her life.....could I let Him love her as much as I do..... could I let Him provide shelter..... could I let Him give us our daily bread....could I let Him find me a body to worship with where I could sing again from my heart..... could I let Him decide if I should be married or single.... could I let Him fill the void when I feel so lonely....could I let Him..., could I let Him......

You fill in your own blank and decide today to let Him...... whatever is stressing or worrying you in your life.  LET HIM TAKE CONTROL

Thankful Thursday

It is very hard to write this post this week since it has been such a horrendous week.  I have had two melt downs already and it is just Thursday.  I am sure there will be much more conflict as the weekend goes on and my daughter is grounded from the skating rink, I try to fix food for the upcoming week, and I get things ready for another work week...   It seems that there are too many demands on me and I am folding under the pressure.


But as I tried to think of something to be thankful for, I thought of my sweet friend who lost her mother this week.  I know how she is hurting.  I recognize the numbness.  I feel the pain.  I smell the death.  The fear of the unknown overwhelms me.  The joy that Jesus holds for us amazes me.  So many things all wrapped up and tangled together.  It makes me pause for a while to think about what is important in life.

So to my mom...
I am so thankful for you.  I am so thankful for the way you loved me. You loved me like I was the most wonderful person in the whole world.  Even when I made huge mistakes, you loved me.  I am so thankful that you spent your life working so hard so that we would have a home.  I am so thankful that you took me to church when I was a kid and instilled Christian values in me.  I am so thankful that you taught me right from wrong.  I am so thankful that you disciplined me and instilled in me a self discipline that would carry me through my life and enable me to be successful.  I am so thankful that you packed me up, drove me to college and dropped me off in that dorm room with a schedule in my hand - even with me kicking and screaming "no" the whole time!  I am so thankful that you spent hours talking to me on the phone listening to my nothingness, just cause I needed unconditional love and friendship, even when we had to pay for long distance!  I am so thankful that you supported my decisions throughout my life, even the wrong ones.  I am so thankful that you loved all my foster children so much and spent time with them, fixing their hair, reading to them, sewing for them, giving them the love of a grandmother.  I am so thankful that you didn't say I told you so!  I am so thankful that you "adopted" Ciara and adored her.  I am so thankful that you came to stay with us for the last 7 months of your life so that we could have every second we could with you.  I am so thankful that you amazed all the doctors and fought so hard to live when they thought it was obviously past your time and you were saying, "I'm sorry I can't  stay with you longer."  Thank you for being such a wonderful mother.  I am thankful for everything you did.

To my sweet friend Patty,
There are no words to describe the loss.  Time will give you peace, but sometimes it will sneak up on you and take your breath.  Sometimes you will feel like a lost orphan in a world full of relatives.  Sometimes you will feel like no one understands or cares or loves you at all.  Mother's are special and there is just no replacements. Right now you are numb from the "surprise" of death, and it will get worse before it gets better.  It will get better.  There is peace.  Our mom's are in a place that we can't even imagine.  There is no more pain or sickness.  No more restrictions.  Only Glory!!  Be thankful for the wonderful mother you had.  Pass her legacy down to your children.  Love you!!

Thankful Thursday

Boy it has been along time since I have done a Thankful Thursday post.  It isn't because I haven't had plenty to be thankful for.

This summer was one of the best of my life.  We relaxed, got things done, and got a little ahead.  Usually I am just so lazy in the summer that I get way behind.  I am thankful for all our wonderful blessings of this summer.

• We were blessed with a swimming pass.  We went swimming every chance we got and we loved it!

• We were blessed financially.  As I struggle to budget my money while I strive to pay off bills it helped so much when unplanned events came up.  Plus, it helped so much to make us not feel too deprived!!
• We were blessed with great health.  No doctors appts. for us for sickness.  Ciara didn't even have cavities at her dentist appt.  
• We were blessed to get to hang out with wonderful friends daily.  I loved talking to the lifeguards.  They became our friends, esp. the "boss".  Several of the people who swam daily became buddies to Ciara and I both.  Also, I finally found someone to play games with.  She doesn't mind my messy house at all.  We throw some food at the kids and they go play and we get to play cards to our heart's content.  Wish we had more time together now that school has started, but we are trying.

Now that school has started we have experienced many new blessings.

•  CIARA HAS ALL A'S AND B'S FOR HER THREE WEEK GRADES!!!

• Ciara is doing great in 4th grade.  She no longer wants to eat lunch with me every day, she wants to go with her friends.  She is getting her  homework done in usually an hour's time (thank you God), and she loves, loves, loves all her teachers.  She is getting up and getting dressed on time also!  Woohoo!!
• Even though mom didn't turn in the registration papers in time, her gymnastics instructor managed to squeeze her into a class.  This is her 7th year and she loves it.
• I have a great schedule and wonderful students this year.  

We are looking forward to all the fun things that this school year will bring.

Blogger Block

I haven't blogged in a while.  I have been busy and haven't even read blogs either.  I think I lost interest for a little while.  I write posts in my head all the time.  I just never seem to have the time to put it on the computer. 

There was the post about the amazing women I met when I took Ciara to a beautician to fix her black hair.  The beautician was also doing hair for a wedding and the bride's mother and cousins were there.  They were arranging things for the wedding and making plans and doing all sorts of stuff while they were being beautified.  They were so different, yet so interesting.  I wonder if people think of my family that way. 

There was the back to school post with pictures of Ciara's first day, with her teacher, a picture of my door I decorated.... Well, maybe later. 

There was the post about our new responsibilities at work that are confusing, time consuming and well....we will get it figured out someday. 

There was the post about my birthday-yep-I turned 46 and I am just glad to have another year.  I had a wonderful day and my family spoiled me. 

There was the post about Labor day weekend and going to my aunt's and all our family being there and getting to visit with them.  That was a fun weekend. 

There was the post about the cards I have been working on - thank you's for my birthday blessings, sympathy and get well for school for a committee I am on.  Some of them are really beautiful.  I am trying some new sizes, getting out of my box. 

Yes, there has been a lot of stuff on my mind and I guess that is just where it will stay.  Maybe I will get better now that the routine of school has worked itself out.  (Can you believe we are starting our 4th week?)  But until then....have a great day!