Thankful Thursday

It is very hard to write this post this week since it has been such a horrendous week.  I have had two melt downs already and it is just Thursday.  I am sure there will be much more conflict as the weekend goes on and my daughter is grounded from the skating rink, I try to fix food for the upcoming week, and I get things ready for another work week...   It seems that there are too many demands on me and I am folding under the pressure.


But as I tried to think of something to be thankful for, I thought of my sweet friend who lost her mother this week.  I know how she is hurting.  I recognize the numbness.  I feel the pain.  I smell the death.  The fear of the unknown overwhelms me.  The joy that Jesus holds for us amazes me.  So many things all wrapped up and tangled together.  It makes me pause for a while to think about what is important in life.

So to my mom...
I am so thankful for you.  I am so thankful for the way you loved me. You loved me like I was the most wonderful person in the whole world.  Even when I made huge mistakes, you loved me.  I am so thankful that you spent your life working so hard so that we would have a home.  I am so thankful that you took me to church when I was a kid and instilled Christian values in me.  I am so thankful that you taught me right from wrong.  I am so thankful that you disciplined me and instilled in me a self discipline that would carry me through my life and enable me to be successful.  I am so thankful that you packed me up, drove me to college and dropped me off in that dorm room with a schedule in my hand - even with me kicking and screaming "no" the whole time!  I am so thankful that you spent hours talking to me on the phone listening to my nothingness, just cause I needed unconditional love and friendship, even when we had to pay for long distance!  I am so thankful that you supported my decisions throughout my life, even the wrong ones.  I am so thankful that you loved all my foster children so much and spent time with them, fixing their hair, reading to them, sewing for them, giving them the love of a grandmother.  I am so thankful that you didn't say I told you so!  I am so thankful that you "adopted" Ciara and adored her.  I am so thankful that you came to stay with us for the last 7 months of your life so that we could have every second we could with you.  I am so thankful that you amazed all the doctors and fought so hard to live when they thought it was obviously past your time and you were saying, "I'm sorry I can't  stay with you longer."  Thank you for being such a wonderful mother.  I am thankful for everything you did.

To my sweet friend Patty,
There are no words to describe the loss.  Time will give you peace, but sometimes it will sneak up on you and take your breath.  Sometimes you will feel like a lost orphan in a world full of relatives.  Sometimes you will feel like no one understands or cares or loves you at all.  Mother's are special and there is just no replacements. Right now you are numb from the "surprise" of death, and it will get worse before it gets better.  It will get better.  There is peace.  Our mom's are in a place that we can't even imagine.  There is no more pain or sickness.  No more restrictions.  Only Glory!!  Be thankful for the wonderful mother you had.  Pass her legacy down to your children.  Love you!!