Our preacher has challenged us to write out our testimony. Since one of the reasons I blog is to share Jesus, I decided I would take the challenge and post it on my blog. I will admit that I have thought very hard about doing this. I know some people who read this may want to laugh about it or make fun of me or think that I am silly or stupid. Isn't that the biggest reason that we as Christians don't share Jesus?
Paul shared his testimony with the Galatians in three parts. Before, during, and after. My testimony also has three parts, but they are a little different.
I can't remember a time when I didn't go to church. I was raised in a God fearing home. My parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.... everyone in my life was somehow involved in the church, most specifically the Baptist church. I knew the plan of salvation at a young age, I knew I was a sinner, and I knew I needed "saved" from hell. When I was 8 years old I went to GA camp and felt the Holy Spirit dealing with me. It was a very emotional time and I don't remember much about it. Even though our family was very "Christian", we didn't talk about salvation much. When I came home from camp, I used the church phone to call my mom. "Guess what happened at camp," I said. "I got saved!" She said, "What happened? Were you drowning???" I don't remember words I said, who I prayed with, walking to the front, the song that was playing..... but I remember my mom's reaction - which will be very, very important during the 3rd part of my testimony.
Lifestyle Choice
I continued to be very involved in church.
You can skip this part - it is boring!! I was involved in the youth group, a singing and drama group, wrote a song and sang it at church, went on mission trips.....In college I was involved in the BSU, led a missions team, tried out for the vocal group (and failed miserably!), went to bible studies and those wonderful once a week meals that someone brings in for us poor college kids so we don't have to eat in the cafeteria. I spent a summer in Illinois with Baptist Student Missions. We went around doing surveys and teaching backyard bible camps and working in churches. When I got out of school and started teaching I didn't go to church for a few years, but then I got involved again. I taught Sunday school, sang in different music programs, taught bible school, did missions work....blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah....
Fast forward until the year I got my divorce. That was a rough year, granted, but I really wanted to turn my back on God. I felt if he - the ex - couldn't love me, then no one could, not even God. I began to question the existence of God. I flat refused to acknowledge him. Yet during that time I did hours and hours of bible study each night. I was searching so hard. (Sounds CRAZY, doesn't it??) Thankfully a sweet lady took me in and mentored me during this time. She was involved in the Emmaus movement that was going through our town. She kept asking me to go on a "Walk to Emmaus", and I kept telling her in a not nice way, no! Finally, she said she had to ask me one more time. I said I would go if she quit bugging me. I was fully prepared to hate the whole thing. Hours before I went on the walk, I fell and severely, I mean severely sprained my ankle. I spent the next few hours getting it x-rayed and getting crutches.... and barely made it to the church on time to leave. With pain meds, crutches, ice packs and ace bandages, I made it to the campground. I had never had an experience where I felt so loved before. I know that God worked everything to His glory when he sat me down and surrounded me with so many wonderful Christians to love me and take care of me. During part of the weekend, I went to my room and was searching for answers. I got mad and threw my bible across the room (really, I did). A note fell out that I had written months before in church when our preacher had said something that I thought was stupid. He said, "The opposite of faith is sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7 was written beside it. It says, "We walk by faith, not by sight."" I knew God was showing me that I had to have faith even when I couldn't see things. I either had faith or didn't. So that day I made a choice to have faith. I chose to believe in the existence of God and that Jesus was his son. I also made another decision. I decided on a lifestyle. I decided that I would go to church, get involved, and leave behind other things that were tempting me and be a "good christian". I thought at the time that I was making a good decision.
Know that I know
Throughout the years that followed, I was involved in various churches and activities. When I was 41 years old, I began to have strange feelings come over me - which I now know was a type of spiritual warfare. I was taking a new member's class at the church I was going to. I was asked these two questions.
Days after that experience I found my childhood bible on a shelf. Inside the front and back covers several of the camp staffers had written notes about the decision for Christ I had made that week. There was proof for that 8 year old girl, but I am glad I didn't find it until I had prayed that day in the church.
I know that I know that I know that Jesus is the Lord of my life and has saved me. Do I make mistakes? All the time. Am I good? Hardly ever. I haven't got it all together and I don't know all the answers. I do have peace.
I believe each of those experiences have helped me become the person God wants me to be. I believe the faith of an 8 year old is an amazing thing. I believe we must life by faith and not by sight. I am all for trying to be good and doing the right thing, but I don't believe that in itself is what it is all about. I also believe there comes a time in each of our lives when we need to know that we know that we know that we are saved by the grace of Jesus.
Paul shared his testimony with the Galatians in three parts. Before, during, and after. My testimony also has three parts, but they are a little different.
Childlike Faith
I can't remember a time when I didn't go to church. I was raised in a God fearing home. My parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.... everyone in my life was somehow involved in the church, most specifically the Baptist church. I knew the plan of salvation at a young age, I knew I was a sinner, and I knew I needed "saved" from hell. When I was 8 years old I went to GA camp and felt the Holy Spirit dealing with me. It was a very emotional time and I don't remember much about it. Even though our family was very "Christian", we didn't talk about salvation much. When I came home from camp, I used the church phone to call my mom. "Guess what happened at camp," I said. "I got saved!" She said, "What happened? Were you drowning???" I don't remember words I said, who I prayed with, walking to the front, the song that was playing..... but I remember my mom's reaction - which will be very, very important during the 3rd part of my testimony.
Lifestyle Choice
I continued to be very involved in church.
You can skip this part - it is boring!! I was involved in the youth group, a singing and drama group, wrote a song and sang it at church, went on mission trips.....In college I was involved in the BSU, led a missions team, tried out for the vocal group (and failed miserably!), went to bible studies and those wonderful once a week meals that someone brings in for us poor college kids so we don't have to eat in the cafeteria. I spent a summer in Illinois with Baptist Student Missions. We went around doing surveys and teaching backyard bible camps and working in churches. When I got out of school and started teaching I didn't go to church for a few years, but then I got involved again. I taught Sunday school, sang in different music programs, taught bible school, did missions work....blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah....
Fast forward until the year I got my divorce. That was a rough year, granted, but I really wanted to turn my back on God. I felt if he - the ex - couldn't love me, then no one could, not even God. I began to question the existence of God. I flat refused to acknowledge him. Yet during that time I did hours and hours of bible study each night. I was searching so hard. (Sounds CRAZY, doesn't it??) Thankfully a sweet lady took me in and mentored me during this time. She was involved in the Emmaus movement that was going through our town. She kept asking me to go on a "Walk to Emmaus", and I kept telling her in a not nice way, no! Finally, she said she had to ask me one more time. I said I would go if she quit bugging me. I was fully prepared to hate the whole thing. Hours before I went on the walk, I fell and severely, I mean severely sprained my ankle. I spent the next few hours getting it x-rayed and getting crutches.... and barely made it to the church on time to leave. With pain meds, crutches, ice packs and ace bandages, I made it to the campground. I had never had an experience where I felt so loved before. I know that God worked everything to His glory when he sat me down and surrounded me with so many wonderful Christians to love me and take care of me. During part of the weekend, I went to my room and was searching for answers. I got mad and threw my bible across the room (really, I did). A note fell out that I had written months before in church when our preacher had said something that I thought was stupid. He said, "The opposite of faith is sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7 was written beside it. It says, "We walk by faith, not by sight."" I knew God was showing me that I had to have faith even when I couldn't see things. I either had faith or didn't. So that day I made a choice to have faith. I chose to believe in the existence of God and that Jesus was his son. I also made another decision. I decided on a lifestyle. I decided that I would go to church, get involved, and leave behind other things that were tempting me and be a "good christian". I thought at the time that I was making a good decision.
Know that I know
Throughout the years that followed, I was involved in various churches and activities. When I was 41 years old, I began to have strange feelings come over me - which I now know was a type of spiritual warfare. I was taking a new member's class at the church I was going to. I was asked these two questions.
- If you died now, would you go to heaven?
- Why should God let you into heaven?
Days after that experience I found my childhood bible on a shelf. Inside the front and back covers several of the camp staffers had written notes about the decision for Christ I had made that week. There was proof for that 8 year old girl, but I am glad I didn't find it until I had prayed that day in the church.
I know that I know that I know that Jesus is the Lord of my life and has saved me. Do I make mistakes? All the time. Am I good? Hardly ever. I haven't got it all together and I don't know all the answers. I do have peace.
I believe each of those experiences have helped me become the person God wants me to be. I believe the faith of an 8 year old is an amazing thing. I believe we must life by faith and not by sight. I am all for trying to be good and doing the right thing, but I don't believe that in itself is what it is all about. I also believe there comes a time in each of our lives when we need to know that we know that we know that we are saved by the grace of Jesus.
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2 comments:
Wow, great job on writing your testimony. But more importantly is the fact that you know that you know.It's wonderful to know that you know for sure.
That is absolutely fantastic!! Awesome job of putting your testimony down so that all can read it...now it is not only YOUR testimony of salvation, but your testimony to the world. What a blessing!!!!!!! How awesome too to have that complete assurance.
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